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     Joy 101  Life  Coaching

              Your Pathway to 
                          Personal Fulfillment

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Excerpts from

How to Eat an Elephant

      A Guide Book for Playing  the Game Called Life      ®

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Section One

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   Cycle Breakers and Calming Exercises

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Page Content

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How to Eat an Elephant?

There are several, perhaps even dozens of ways we could approach the idea of improving our lives and an equal number of things we could do.   We can't do them all at once, so in keeping with the theme of this book, I'm suggesting we use the  "How to Eat an Elephant®  approach.   Let's eat our elephant  (bring more joy, love and freedom into our lives)   "one bite at a time."

Where Do We Start?

Where do we take the first bite?  How do we get from where we are right now to where we want to be?   

Let's begin with a two-fold approach.  The first part of our twofold approach is by utilizing some basic calming and centering exercises, exercises designed to  assist us in becoming more relaxed, more focused, more centered, more at peace with our lives, and to put us in an open and  receptive state of mind.   Several simple practices are described below.

The exercises will assist us to move into the second half of our twofold approach,  the observation mode.°   The purpose of the observation mode is to find out where we presently are.   We'll ask ourselves:   "What do I choose to be, do, have, express, and/or experience?    and   "Is what I'm presently being and doing getting me there?"

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What Is a Calming Exercise

A calming exercise  is mental or physical activity that changes your physiology causing the body to relax.  Closing your eyes and taking  several deep breaths is an example of a very simple and very effective calming exercise. 

What Is a Cycle Breaker?

A cycle breaker is something intentionally done to interrupt an  action, a thought pattern, or both.   It's a way of shifting your focus of attention from what feels bad to what feels good --  a way of shifting your focus from what you'd prefer to avoid  to that which brings joy into your life -- a way to change your future experiences and make them more to your liking.   

You may have head the classic line:  "If you bitch, moan, and complain, the universe gives you more to bitch, moan and complain about."   It's also true that if you praise, love and enjoy,  the universe gives you more to praise, love, and be happy about.   

Which do you choose?  If your choice is to live in peace and harmony, the cycle breakers  and an a beginning self-awareness exercise described below are simple-but-major steps in that direction.   Experiment with them.   

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Calming Down

The practices and exercises described below can significantly reduce your stress.   There is; however, one significant requirement and that is:  You must use them or they are useless.!   Simply knowing about them is the booby prize.

I'm too busy:   Some people claim that they don't have time to do these practices.    The evidence indicates that quite the opposite is true.   Many of the people who have used the practices have reported that they became much more calm, focused and grounded in their bodies.   The net result was that their approach to problems became so much more efficient that taking time out to do the practices actually saved them time.   They also felt much better.

It's Too Simple:   Another excuse we often hear for not doing the exercises below is:  "They're too simple.  They can't possibly work."  Again the opposite is true.   In nature, the simplest answer is often the most functional answer.   One of the great advantages of most of the exercises described below is their simplicity.   If you pre-judge them, you'll lose because your expectations will get in the way.  So get out of your head and simply experiment with them.   You might be pleasantly surprised.

1)   Breath and  Body Posture: Notice the body posture and the breathing patters of those who are feeling bad -- shoulders slumped,  back curved, head down, shallow breathing, sad faced, lethargic,  minimum body movement, etc.  Their mental attitude is something like:  "Life sucks and then you die!"   Also, they often wallow in victim hood which reinforces their negative patters and accelerates their downward spiral.

Notice the body posture and the breathing patters of those who are feeling good --  shoulder high, back erect, head up, deep breathing, happy face, energetic, dynamic body movement.   Their mental attitude is something like:  "Oh what a beautiful morning.   Oh what a beautiful day.   I've got a wonderful feeling everything's going my way."   Their upbeat mental attitude reinforces their positive experiences.

Have you noticed that body posture, breathing patterns  and emotional feelings tend to reinforce each other.   Sit in the feel-bad position and described above for about a minute.   Breathe shallow and notice how you feel.   Switch to the feel-good body position, breathe deeply, and notice how you feel.  What differences are you aware of?

So step one in reducing stress, eliminating lethargy, and reversing negative emotions is to shift your body posture, to breathe deeply and think about what makes you feel good.   Exercise two and three, below, offer you a sample first step in how to do that.

2)   Rock the Baby -- A calming Mudra (hand position): Sit comfortably;  place the insides of your wrists together;  hold you left arm in your right hand;  and your right arm in your left hand.  Let your hands and arms rest gently against your abdomen.   Now pretend that you are holding a baby in your arms.   Rock the baby.   Close your eyes, focus on your breath, and focus on rocking and soothing the baby.   Breathe rhythmically and deeply.   Allow your body to relax.    We recommend that you hold this mudra and do the HeartMath cycle breaker described in the next paragraph.

      Cycle Breakers     ...

A Basic Cycle Breaker

3)   HeartMath:  One of the best and simplest and most effective cycle breakers comes for the HeartMath Training.°   1)   Whenever you feel a strong, negative emotion,  take a time out.   Stop thinking about whatever triggered your feelings  2)   Focus on your heart.   Breath deeply and focus on your heart area for at least ten seconds.   3)  Think about something from your past that made you feel positive, and joyous.   In your mind recreate that experience.   4)  Now ask yourself, what is the optimum way for me to respond to the situation I am presently facing?  How can I reduce future stress regarding this issue?   5)   Pay attention to the answer you receive and act accordingly.

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A Second, Basic Cycle Breaker

4)   Go Now in Peace:  The next time someone pushes your buttons°   (the next time you get upset with someone)  instead of responding to them with anger, consider the following alternative:

Suppose you simply said, "Go now in peace.   May beauty of love surround you everywhere you  go."***  Suppose you simply turned, walked away, and shifted your focus onto that which brings you joy.   

That simple shift in attitude and behavior could change  your own life dramatically.   The mechanics of how and why this works are too long to go into here, but as you read the other sections of this book, particularly the section titled  The Immutable Universal Laws,°  you'll come to understand its importance.   (We'll also talk about this in your personal coaching sessions)°  

*** The inspiration for this cycle breaker comes from the Universalist Unitarian Society.   They have a delightful part of their Sunday service in which they intentionally focus on the children for a few minutes, and then as the children are leaving to participate in their own activities, they sing this song to them:   "Go now in peace.  Go now in peace.   May the beauty of love surround you everywhere, everywhere you may go."  

If you'd like to commune with others of like mind and connect to "The Infinite Source of All"  without all the divisive dogma that plagues most mainstream churches, this group is highly recommended.   http://www.uua.org/aboutuu/index.html°     

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A Basic Statement of Being

Here's a basic statement of being inspired by the above quote from  the Universalist Unitarian Society.   

I Live in peace.  
I live in joy.   
Beauty and love surround me 
Everywhere...   Everywhere I am.  

If this simple statement were a mainstay of your mental diet, that would bring major, positive changes into your life.

decisions     decisions       ...

A Basic Statement of Choice

Today, I am making only intelligent, wise, healthy, profitable, joy-filled decisions.

What is the wisest, most intelligent, healthiest, most profitable decision I can make right now that will bring the highest levels of  joy, freedom, and personal growth into my life?

My decisions are always made within the context of the long-term, highest good for myself and are always always positive or neutral in their long-term affect upon others and upon the environment.

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More Cycle Breakers and Calming Exercises

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5)   I Love and Accept myself How do you react when you make a mistake such as dropping or spinning something, making a wrong turn while driving, receiving bad news, etc.?   Most people make a verbal exclamation and then, in one form or another put themselves down for what they just did (or didn't do).   Here's a couple of  examples:   "Damn it!  I'll never get this right."   or  "Where are the damned keys?   I keep loosing things."    If you engage in this type of behavior, here's an alternative:

The next time you miss your mark and you begin to have a negative emotional reaction, STOP!   Take a deep breath, touch your right thumb to your right ring finger and extend your right index and middle fingers out straight.   With your right index and middle fingers, begin taping on the outside edge on your left hand.   (Tap on the edge of your left had at the side closest to you little finger -- that's the point that would make the contact if you were to execute a karate chop)

As you are tapping on your left hand say:  "I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself exactly as I am.    I always stay in the positive, loving, joyous state of being, regardless of what is going on in my life."  Speak out loud, softly if you prefer, and if circumstances require silence, say it only in your mind.   Speaking out loud gives the most power to your statement.

Now switch hands and in the fashion described above, tap the edge of your right hand with your left index and middle fingers.   Repeat the statement:  "I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself exactly as I am.    I always stay in the positive, loving, joyous state of being, regardless of what is going on in my life."   

Three thing will happen.  First, the deep breath is, in and of itself, a major calming tool,   Second, the tapping on the edge of your hand stimulates an energy meridian in your body creating a physiological calming response.   Third, the verbal statement changes your focus of attention.   According to the Universal Laws of Creation,°  energy follows thought, so when you focus on something and speak about it with strong feelings, you are giving a powerful message to the creative part of your subconscious self.  In essence, you are saying give me more of this.

Which of these to scenarios do you want to experience tomorrow:

"Oh S--t!  I just broke another glass.  I hate myself for being so clumsy." 

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 "I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself exactly as I am.    I always stay in the positive, loving, joyous state of being, regardless of what is going on in my life." 

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The following two techniques are excerpted from: "The Yoni Dance, Volume One,  Once is not enough."   

6)   Reptilian Brian / Human Brain Place your left hand (that’s the hand on which you wear your watch)   flat on your forehead.   Place your right flat on the back of your head, where you head sticks out furthest to the back.”  With your eyes closed, breathe deeply and just stand there for about thirty seconds.”  

Again I do as directed.  

To my surprise, after only about fifteen seconds, I notice that my muscles are beginning to relax.   I’m particularly aware of the shift in my abdominal muscles.   Spontaneously I take another deep breath.    As I relax, I'm amazed at how easily I lost my cool and reverted to my childhood conditioning.   At that point, the old man speaks and breaks my train of thought.  

“Okay, Sonny, take another deep breath, then put your hands down and open your eyes."    

"Thanks." I say and start to return to my car.  Before I've taken two steps, he speaks again.   "May I show you one more thing." he asks.  

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7)   Left Brian / Right Brain I stop, turn back to him, say yes, and then stand there awaiting for what's next.

"Straighten your arms out in front of you," he says.   Put your hands together, and stick your thumbs up.”   Feeling much better, I simply follow the old man’s instructions.  

“Now we’re going to make an infinity sign with our thumbs.   That’s a lazy-eight, like the number eight lying on its side.   As we make that infinity sign, we’re going to be moving our hands upward when our thumbs are right in front of us and we’re going to be moving our hands downward when our thumbs are over to either side.   You watch first and I’ll demonstrate.”  

The old man demonstrated the movement.    

“Keep your head as still as you can and follow the movement of your thumbs with your eyes.”  

Again, the old man proceeds to demonstrate what he has just described.  

“Watch my eyes, Sonny.   You see my head is relatively still.   What are my eyes doing?”  

“Following your thumbs and making an infinity sign.”  

“OK, now you do it.”  

I make the infinity sign keeping my head still and moving my eyes.   After about seven to ten times, the old man says, 

“That’s enough.”  

I put my hands down and take another deep breath.   I look at him, smile and say, “Thanks, I’m feeling much better.”  

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If you are one of our coaching clients,°  we'll share with you the how, the why, and the affect of the above two exercises.

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8)   Meridian Harmony This calming and focusing exercise is closely related to exercise three, above in that it affects the body's energy meridians.   It's a bit complicated to describe in words, but it's significantly more effective at integrating the body's energy circuits and the integration lasts longer.   We'll describe the connection points, the breathing rhythm, and then take you through the exercise.

a)  The Meridian Points:  First locate the only two points in the body where all the energy meridians intersect.   Place your left hand high on your chest as you lift and lower your right shoulder.   Find the pivot point where your right collar bone connects to you breast bone.   One inch to the right of that joint and just below the collar bone is the point we are looking for.   Find the same place on the left side of your chest.

b)  Connecting to the Meridian Points:  Using the index and middle fingers we will connect to those two points one after the other.   (1- Left hand to right side of chest,    2- Left hand to left side of chest,   3- Right hand to left side of chest   4- Right hand to right side of chest.)    Keep the index and middle fingers about one inch apart.    During the exercise described below, the thumb, ring and little fingers should not touch your body.   

c)  Tapping on the Back of Your Hand:  Notice that on the back of your hands, you can feel four bones, one connecting from your wrist to each finger.   We are looking for the indentation on the back of each hand between the bone supporting the ring finger and the bone supporting the little finger.   We will tap on this point on the hand that is not connected to the body.    We will tap on this point with the ends of your fingers on the hand that is not contacting you body.   (i.e   Right hand taps on the back of left hand.   Left hand taps on the back of right hand.)  

d)  The Breathing Cycle:   As we tap, we are also going to do a specific breathing cycle.  

d-1  Take in a deep breath and then begin tapping the back of your
         hand.   Continue tapping while you completely exhale and 
         again inhale.   

d-1  Hold the breath in and tap five times on the back of your hand.   

d-2  Exhale half way, stop your breath, and tap five times on the back
        of your hand.   

d-3  Exhale all the way, stop your breath, and tap five times on the
          back of your hand.   

d-4  Inhale half way, stop your breath, and tap five times on the back
         of your hand.   

d-5  Inhale all the way, stop your breath, and tap five times on the 
         back of your hand.

d-6  Continue tapping while you completely exhale and again inhale.   

Now lets put all the pieces together.   

Cycle One:   Place your left index and ring fingers on the right side of your chest as instructed above.   With your right hand, tap on the back of your left hand using the tapping  rhythm and breathing cycles described above.

Cycle Two:   Move your left index and ring fingers on the left side of your chest as instructed above.   With your right hand, tap on the back of your left hand using the tapping  rhythm and breathing cycles described above.

Cycle Three:   Place  your right index and ring fingers on the left side of your chest as instructed above.   With your left hand, tap on the back of your right hand using the tapping  rhythm and breathing cycles described above.

Cycle Four:   Move your left index and ring fingers on the right side of your chest as instructed above.   With your left hand, tap on the back of your right hand using the tapping  rhythm and breathing cycles described above.

When you have completed the exercise,  sit quietly for about a minute to allow the energy circuits to integrate and stabilize.

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No More Buttons Here's the ultimate answer to:   "How can I prevent people and events from pushing my buttons." °  Get rid of the buttons!   In many cases, this will be the eventual result for those of you who use the practices and techniques offered in this book.   Some buttons will disappear rather quickly, others may take some time.   

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Coaching Clients       Coaching Clients       ...

End of  Section  01
Cycle Breakers and Calming Exercises

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OK, Now What?  When you become one of our coaching clients, we'll take the exercises and the concepts on our web site to their next level.   We'll help you to determine which of them are for you; and the we'll show you how, when, and where to make the best use of them.   We'll also expand each of the chosen topics and concepts to their logical conclusions. 

Free Session:  We have found that the best way for you to get a clear sense of what we have to offer is for you to experience a coaching session.   Then, by personal experience, you'll know what we can do for you and what you can expect to gain from coaching.   The introductory consultation is a free, personal, private, one-on-one session.

Your Choice:  In addition to the examples included on our web site, there are literally dozens of additional ways we can assist you.   You tell us about your specific goals, needs, and desires, and then, based on your own heart and on our advice, you can decide what is the next best step for you.

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Contact R. Robin Cote'

robin@joy101.org

and put his tested and proven 
principles and techniques to work in your life.

Consultations are available by phone 
from anywhere in the world.

818/727-0727

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   "How to Eat an Elephant®  A Guide Book for Playing the Game Called Life"

By R.  Robin  Cote’   The Life Center   Copyright  1995    Revisions  ©   2001-2004

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(Reference)°  

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Many of these things we already know about, but for one reason or another we just don't do them.

We also need to understand that excessively focusing on what's wrong  is about a productive as, on a dark night, looking under a street light for a key that's lies hidden in a darkened place somewhere else, and also, that focusing on what's wrong tells the universe to bring us more of what's wrong.  

Symptoms obviously must be dealt with when they manifest.  We also need to look for the sources,  the root causes that are producing the symptoms.   Why? Because if we treat only symptoms, we're putting whipped cream on garbage.   Let's use symptom as arrows pointing to the areas in our lives that are calling for our attention.