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The
Feeling:
How we feel is an emotional reaction to one of our beliefs about
reality. Our beliefs very often do not represent
reality. Jane Roberts in her book, The Nature of Personal Reality,
(Pages 239-241) offers an excellent example of this. Here's one
interpretation of those three pages plus some added material:
The
Sample Belief About Reality: I am an inferior person unable to cope
with others and incapable of holding my own in my work environment.
The
Expression of the Belief: Unconsciously, the person uses gestures,
expressions, body language, voice tones, words, and actions, to project his/her
belief into the environment. Consciously, the person focuses his/her
attention upon that belief and looks for its expression in his/her environment,
and at the same time, ignores evidence to the contrary.
The
Return from the Environment: The environment appears to reflect back
that belief. Unconsciously, the person sifts, weighs, and values the
incoming data. He/she focuses on those pieces that match the
belief, ignores the countermanding data, distorts the other data to
make it match the belief, and may even perceive positive data as negative.
The
Reality:
In reality,
we are each unique human beings.
We are also divine beings who are deserving, worthy, and capable of being or
creating anything we choose. Within the context of human life on planet
Earth, we each create our own personal reality by our thoughts, beliefs,
attitudes, words and actions. There are no victims; only unconscious
creators.
The
Dual Belief in this Example:
I am good, worthy, capable, and
deserving. I am inferior, bad, incapable, and unworthy.
Whichever of these two belief is dominant in any given situation,
determines the positive or negative nature of the experience.
The
Realization: There is a distinction between how we feel about
something and the reality of that same thing.
The
Solution: Accept your negative feelings as feelings, flow with them,
be with them, experience them. Avoid attempting to avoid them, or
ignore them, or deny them. Simply be with them as feeling;
however, do so with the understanding that they are feelings about a belief
about reality. As feelings, they are real and valid. They
are emotional expressions about a belief about reality.
BUT:
They are not reality.
Reality is that I am good,
worthy, capable, and deserving. In this moment, I'm simply feeling
something different from good, worthy, capable, and deserving.
That's OK. These feeling are just feelings. They will
soon pass.
I
may feel inferior at this moment, but at the same time I
understand that these feelings are not a statement of fact.
They are a statement of emotion. Distinguishing between emotions and
reality offers a dual validity -- a validity to the emotions and a validity to
the fact of being
good, worthy, capable, and deserving person. One can then simply
allow the feeling to be without concern and without the additional thought about
how bad I am for having these thoughts and feelings.
Why
Am I Feeling... The
next step in getting beyond these feeling is to ask why am I feeling __(whatever
the feeling is)__? What do I believe that's triggering these
feelings? Just because I believe __(whatever the belief is)__,
does that make it real? Could what I'm feeling simply be an outcropping
of something that isn't true? For the moment, I'll just be with
these thoughts and feeling. They're neither good or bad.
They're just thoughts and feelings. They, too, will pass.
Changing
Focus: OK, I've spent enough time
with these thoughts and feelings. I
now choose to focus my attention on relaxing, on breathing deeply and then on
asking, “What can I do right now that will
inspire me to feel good?”
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What’s
the wisest, most-intelligent, healthiest, most-profitable,
most-freedom-creating, and most-joy-producing topic
I can focus my attention on right now?
What’s
the wisest, most-intelligent, healthiest, most-profitable,
most-freedom-creating, and most-joy-producing decision
I can make right now?
What’s
the wisest, most-intelligent, healthiest, most-profitable,
most-freedom-creating, and most-joy-producing action
I can take right now?
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I
could focus on gratitude for all the wonderful things I am and that I
have. I
could focus on
gratitude for all the wonderful things I can do and that I
actually
do. I could focus on the joyous things I am presently
experiencing.
I
could also look for the silver lining on each of my clouds -- the gift that is
in every "problem" -- the opportunity that is in every
experience. I'm at choice here! There are no victims; only unconscious
creators.
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This
same awareness technique can be applied to the distinctions between reality and
beliefs about reality in any area of life. Please see the section above
titled: Reality / Beliefs about Reality

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